Degredation
by Corrode
Summary: Somethings just not quite right. As Alex's feelings for her partner turn into lust. It seems to be reflected in her dreams...They are just dreams right? And now she is being threatened, by an unnamed source. Things just are not what they seem. Chapter10up
1. Chapter 1

Degradation Begins

_Anticipate..._

I stared up through the thin veil of my hair. Resisting the urge to blow it from my eyes. This was protection against his knowing gaze.

It seemed a wise course of action, I thought in an almost guilty way, as if my pupils would reflect my bad intentions.

No, I am not an evil scientist.Bent on taking over the world. Nothing like that.

I just could not get my dream, of the night before, out of my head. These almost diabolical urgings, by nature, were been tormenting me.

Beforehand it had seemed harmless, even a little comical.

But these thoughts had been coming all day, marching in like a communist army, taking over space in my mind. All my earlier feelings,

becoming converted to ultimate' **Bobby worship''.**

And now, if it was possible to get literal ''blue balls'' I defiantly needed a cold shower.

Across from me he was deep in paperwork. Shrinking silently into his self. As if invisibility was his common mode. When as of most of

his time, was spent perfecting these skills.

Sure, he could appear small as he hunched his shoulders, spoke quietly, and moved deliberately around the room. But when he came in,

Just on que. His question or statement, had a _reach out yell ''surprise'' _quality. That most of the time hit you square between the eyes.

And wondering if he had been ''here'' the entire time.

When Bobby wanted his presence felt, their was no denying his power. So, he'd been sitting this way for the better part of an hour.

I turned my pencil between thumb and forefinger, as I studied him. His dark sleepy looking eyes, drank in the material. His ardently

shaped lips forming the words. Then lowering as his lashes dipped. Below those strong expressive brows. My heartbeat quickened as his tongue darted forward, brushing past

his lips. I found myself wondering what they tasted like. If their gentle curve would smile even as I suckled at that dip along the bottom.

The pencil choosing now of all times to desert me. Broke in half, flew from my fingers, and went catapulting between the small amount of space

between us. Now in Bobby's line of sight, rolling quickly down the form he read.

''Sorry'', I said smiling into his face I felt like an idiot adding'' my timing was off''.

As if that explained everything! Damn right your timing is off Alex I thought to myself. The best time for today would've been ...oh lets see

_never_. After all my respect for Goran.Standing in awe of his abilities.

Had become a habit. And now...how could I ...how was I going to ,..Go into #3 interrogation room -the scene of my lavious erotic dream-

ever again. Without#1- Turning red. #2 Abnormal heart rate. #3 Complete lack of concentration.

Thoughts of Bobby's long fingers. Pulling at me, pushing at me, and tormenting me. In such blissful ways, I wanted him.

Yet their was so much more. Way too much to just throw away everything on carnal desire.

''_Slip your leg between mine Alex.'' the dream Goran had commented. ''Why'?' I asked huskily. Then he'd lowered his gaze bending slightly, but not much. This slight move bringing him even closer to his objective. Bringing me to the point of contact to his arousal._

_I sat propped on the cold metal table. His breath agansed that sensitive spot, where my neck joins my shoulder._

''_Because I want all of you against me''._

''Eames'. I broke out of the spell to Bobby calling my name.

''Yes''? Hopefully the flush in my cheeks wasn't as apparent as it felt. It was suddenly ten degrees hotter, and a whole lot stuffier in this room. Shuffling my papers in an attempt to get some air flowing, I focused on something to take my mind off Bobby, our captan-Deakins-fires doused temporarily I tried to still the tremble of my busy hands. This was so ridiculous it made me angry. Why should I let him have so much control over my emotions, why when he already had such a huge stake in my life day to day. Anger was so much easier to deal with anyhow.

''You okay?''

''of course I am, why wouldn't I be?'. I snapped at him.

''You just look umm...different kind of like the ..the cat who ate the canary.''

Looking slightly mollified I answered in a small voice.

''Oh...I was just thinking,'' My hand shook when I reached to tuck my hair back.

Of course noting my obvious discomfort, Bobby cocked his head, in his best dissecting Alex expression. Even stopping to hitch his finger

under his lips, while lifting his brow.

''Hey, I said I'm okay, now stop looking at me like you don't believe me.''

Smiling I pushed up from the desk, I needed to dispel this fear. Bobby would not be put off forever. Under the guise of a powderoom

break, I went into the quite stall, hoping to compose myself. Now even if one of my co-workers choose to be nosey, I would not have to lie to

their face.

I slid down the wall to the cold cement of the floor. Tracing the ugly green tiles, with my lovely cream colored french-tips. I tried to reason

everything out . There had to be away to ignore this unlikely temptation. What would Bobby do if he knew? Probably, come up with some statistical

analysis of all the reasons it was a bad idea. And that was true, wanting to be with him on more than one level, was a bad idea. Or he might laugh in my face-the rejection would at least feel like he was laughing. That I'm afraid would break something inside me, cause lets face it Alex it's not just about the sex. As much as I tried telling that to myself we had something more important than that. Who was I to just come along getting horney on whim? It just had gotten so much more intense lately, ever sense these damn dreams had started. It made me feel so flushed all of the time. My mind had gone south the past few days, and it was only a matter of time before Bobby would push aside priorities to interrogate me. I couldn't tell him what the problem was.

It could ruin the partnership, and the friendship. I needed to put these thoughts away! Was it too late for denial? Had it been so long since other

Men, that I now considered Bobby fair game.

Could I just blow things off? Why not, why couldn't I. I mean I am Alex Eames, N.Y.P.D. extraordinaire. I established this fact with a little triumphant

smile. Because everyday beside me there stood Bobby Goren. Smart as hell at profiling. In the dark when it came to social interaction.

He was so focused on the cases most of the time. Oblivious to the fact, well not all facts just the ones I was concerned with. He'd never see my feelings for what they were. That was the down, and the up about it. Lock the door, lock the door …don't look back Alex. It was sad really because he would fit perfectly into the last place in my puzzle. The only area in my life that I had ice cream binges over still.

Thinking about it from this angle, it was beyond improbable, it was down right insane.

I'm not, I repeat** ''not''. **Going to mix business with pleasure. Because Bobby could defiantly become a pleasure.

Now if only I could continue reminding myself of this, I would be home free.

''I_ want you open to me Alex''. _The voice burst in with the suddenness of a gunshot. I jumped, startled. I realized it was just another memory from my

dream. God, Alex... that was almost like he'd been whispering dirty-nothings into my ear. I had to get him out from under my skin, and get a hold

of myself. I sighed; perhaps after I went home tonight, I could work off some of this sexual frustration. Excersize or something.

Then hopefully when I came in to work tomorrow. This mental melt-down will be behind me.


	2. Chapter 2

**At Dusk...**

I stepped from the shower steam rising to prickle at my skin. The workout had done wonders, tensing up and loosening the muscles.

As the liquid had lapped at my body. However, I stile felt somewhat listless with the echoes of earlier, almost on edge.

The red silk of my pajama bottoms slid easily over my newly shaved legs. I pulled a white cotton tank over the top, and padded

into the fading light of my living room.

I lit some candles for the soft ambiance of the room. A glow that powdered my skin golden warm. Coloring my couch, deep cushions

buried in soft lap robes, calling my name.

Just as I was about to answer. Curling up with a book or maybe the remote. I heard a loud knocking against my door. Peering through

my peep hole. My breath caught in my throat...and my body came alive again.**''traitor'' **I murmured to myself. Mad that I felt almost worse

now than before. Did I have to let him in? Maybe I could just pretend I wasn't home...Too late. I realized that my light probably shone beneath

my entryway. I leaned my forehead against the door, and considered banging the stupid thing. But inanament objects were less to damage

than my skull. The next round of successive pounding, caused me to stand upright quickly.

''Alex it's me, I need to talk to you''. -shit, must be work related, maybe important. The tone said he couldn't wait until tomorrow.

So I opened the dark wooden door. ''Hi''. I said. Already starting to shake. Control yourself Alex, he's not a sex god he's your partner, remember?

He stared at me holding my gaze with his steady eyes, and that was the first hint something wasn't quite right. After all the years I had known

him this action was reserved for when he was trying to hold your attention to express his strong opinion. There was something pulling at me through them, something greedy.

He had to be seeing the vulnerability in my expression. The desperate wringing of my hands. Clasping them behind my back, I broke eye contact.

Staring at the floor to get back my composer. That look had made me feel violated.

''Can I come in Alex?'' He was already halfway through the door so I wondered why he even bothered to ask

''Uhh..sure''….He'd called me by first name. What else could it be besides work? With his manor so abrupt I was curious of his intentions. Then there were his cloths, I noted they were defiantly not work

related..Before now I thought perhaps Bobby only wore suits, not tonight. A plain black tee stretched over his large frame, bunching a little at the waist

Where his Levis hugged his thighs. I found myself close to gawking as the muscles beneath the denim flexed when he stepped forward. He smelled clean all male meets soap, but musky like he'd just stepped out of the shower too. Even his hair looked damp-or was that gel?- Little waves fell away from his face. My fingers itched to test the theory.

Of course not, that was just as ridiculous, as the gold chain that hung from his neck.

He looked so much more slender than when he wore his layered suits. And so much more...what was the word I was looking for...enigmatic. There was something darkly stimulating about him tonight.

Was this a part of Bobby I did not know, had never met? He smiled at me, and even that was all wrong. It wasn't sweet at all, but more predatory.

Eyes dark and demanding. He also, gave me the once over. Lingering on the spots that now tingled. I felt as if waves of heat were radiating from his skin. That although he stood two feet away his presence covered me in pure segestive sex. I was throbbing already.

''Sorry, I was not expecting company''.

''I would have come sooner had I known''. Referring to my state of undress. I gasped blinking back at him like he had only now materialized right in front

of me. I was waiting for the punch line, or maybe even a slight show of awkwardness. But instead he resumed savoring my form, in such a way

he began to round me. Like he was looking for the best angle. Feeling like the perp in the middle of the room for the first time I understood how it felt to have Bobby Goren circle in for the kill. I remembered hearing once that if you just stood completely still, or played dead the threat might just go away-Of course he's not a rattle snake, but I sure as hell felt like prey! Maybe he was drunk on something dangerous like tequila. God knows that fire-water always made me want to hump foreign objects.

''Bobby have you been drinking?''

''Why don't you call me Robert. Don't you think it sounds more like a **MANS **name''? He came closer looking like a lion stocking in my direction. Wide

smooth movements. He lowered his gaze, and I took an automatic step backwards. Okay this was getting risky, I could tell from the look in his eyes what he might do if I was caught. I could hear it in the strain of his voice. It was evident in the way he moved as he slowly began closing the gap.

''And at the height of passion sweet Alex. It should be a **Man **that you call out to. And not this...Bobby''

Hands fluttered as always around as he spoke. But now the feline grace of his rather large hands, seemed wrong somehow. And the hungry look

in his eyes, should've been enjoyable. But made me fear him. He didn't look like he wanted to just be my lover.Enstead like he was going to

consume me. I fell back onto the couch, as he came foward.Bobby or rather Robert stood looming over me, like some dark male succubus.

God what had he been drinking? Landing with a thud on his knees, he lingered between my legs. Tracing the outlines along the hymens of

my pants. Smiling as the goose bumps appeared on my shins. Spreading out like a patchwork quilt.

I was speechless. This should be so much more than I could ever have wanted. I should be elated. But something was struggling to the surface.

Wanting to leap from the end of my tongue. This did not feel right. This was wrong!

''Stop this and explain yourself right now Goren. You said you wanted to talk, and that does not involve you man-handling me''!

He chuckled, a dark thick sound that was unlike anything I had ever heard from him before.

''For god sakes are you possessed by the tequila demon!'' I said sharply. Trying to break through his haze of crazy seduction.

''Maybe some kind of demon Alex but...''

Moving fast his lips came in closely, barely brushing my earlobe, as his arms trapped me on either side.Leaning forward he stated in a soft but intense voice.

The whisper of his whiskers along my jaw line.

''It has nothing to do with alcohol''.

Then reinforcing his statement. I felt his lips connect with that tiny spot below the ear. The thinner sensitive skin of my neck. His tongue, and then

he was nipping at me with his teeth.


	3. Chapter 3

Yea.. I got some more story finished.About seeing it from Roberts's point of view, thanx for the idea, but I am not quite sure if I want to delve

into that yet. Bobby Gorans character is hard to capture, and I am finding him rather illusive, I was thinking perhaps of doing a character

study on him, trying to find some way to ''get in his head''-I haven't been watching him long so bear with me..he's got so many layers!

**The morning After..**

**Disillusioned...**

I watched Bobby sitting back on his haunches. As he examined the body with his latex gloved fingers. He poked, and prodded the cadaver

with all the emotion reserved for a copy of stereo instructions. I on the other hand tended to hold back some, because of my empathy

issues. And after all these dreams I'd had last night, my tired scale was tipping slightly askew. Making me feel a little off.

''She has a slight contusion, here um..below the right ear. Looks like a ..like a hickey''

He fingered the dark purple outline that was made so much more ghastly in comparison to the pale white of her day old skin.

Yet Bobby always seemed to hold onto some level of respect for the dead. And was careful turning her back over. The lavitidy settled

at her sides. Absorbed, Bobby missed the look in my eyes as my hand touched the same like spot on my own neck. The spot where the

''dream guy'' had bit me the night before.

Clear images that I'd been pushing away since I'd come to, last night. Flashed with impatience through my mind. I did not know why the spot

was sore, except to say I was thrashing in my sleep. Just a crazy coincidence? Dreams did not leave marks! I must have looked like I swallowed

something sour.

''What's wrong Eames?I'm sure the hickey was more enjoyable than the aftermath''.

I didn't answer him. If he choose to examine my neck would their be the same mark on me? I was afraid to appeal to Bobby right now for that very

reason. How many unanswered questions would that one solve? I don't think I want to know. Okay Alex, lets just egnore it, lets get on with

this incredibly long day.Damnit if having no sleep was not putting me majorly on edge.

''It has nothing to do with alcohol''. My head snapped up and I saw Goren eyeing me strangely.

''What did you say''?

''I said I don't think her injuries have anything to do with alcohol. Theirs um...a bottle a few feet away. It was emptied of its contents all over Jane Doe here.

Expensive stuff to. The question is what kinda point was the killer trying to make?Post mortem alcohol cleansing, defiantly strange.''

Listening to his matter-a -fact tone , I absently stroked my sore neck.

Then taking a tentative peek at Bobby, the dream now seemed far away. But that feeling I got when leisurely passing him around my thoughts,

stile remained, and my lions burned. It was strange the sinister undertone Roberts eyes had caused in the dream. Even now as I spied on my

partner, this undercurrent of sexuality, burnt me. And something else, something deeper, something more gratifying pulsed at the core.

It was just a dream. I could play along, indulge myself.

Maybe that's why it felt wrong. I was too busy backing away as if it were real, and not the delicious fantasy that it was. He had taken utter control

of me. Given no modes of escape. Driving me back like some heroine in a gothic romance novel, and then..then...

''He cornered me and sucked my neck''!

''What Eames?'' - Oh god I said that out loud?

''Nothing, just babbling to myself''.

''About your neck being sucked?''-Damn he'd heard.

''Alex''. He turned to me putting his hands on my shoulders, all his attention mine. Oh great here it comes I thought, He'd been picking up on

all my subtle clues today. The only problem being nothing is subtle to Goran.

''You've been preoccupied all morning. Come to think about it since..since yesterday I thought at first it was none of my business,

But it's ruining your focus. I think you need to talk''

''No I don't''. I practically yelled at him. Not used to me having those hissyfits. Not liking to let some of the stronger emotions out. I'd found them

to be more of a hindrance when you were a woman competing in a mans profession. That being the case I could usually keep them at bay.

Not today apparently. Bobby stepped back in surprise. And if I had not been so frustrated, I would have laughed. Surprising Bobby after all

Was no easy task. Recovering quickly, he looked into my eyes.

''You don't have to talk to me about this Alex, but ..but..if this keeps affecting your work..or you decide differently...''-he let the rest die on the air

Then tilted my chin up for emphasis, and looking into my face. I saw reflected in his what had been missing in the dream.

A respect and caring beyond any form of words.And I almost broke down right there. I should've told him all of it. Scraping my insides clean.

Until he never would have been able to ignore me again.

Bobby would've had to give me a response, a reaction, or a goddamn boot in the ass...But atleast I would've known.

What a disastrous idea. So much to lose. Would it be worth it? I fell short...

''Just some bad dreams, I'll be fine I promise''.-But I couldn't even keep my eyes on his.He sighed.

''Fine Alex, have it your way''.-Sounding hurt we began our way back to the car.


	4. Chapter 4

I had alot of fun writing this chapter, testing the waters of Bobby's head. I had to put a small dream spurt in, things are not at all as they seem.

And I think I will lead you around a little before I hit the light of understanding button.Please review it helps to grease the wheels of my imagination.

Advice is always welcome, and yeah I've noticed I stile spell Goren wrong sometimes, hoping to squash that habit soon-Thanx for reading.

**Dreaming Again?...**

I watched through the window. The silence in the car creating a thickly charged atmosphere.It was so warm. The heater pumping out

in waves.I cuddled closely into the black wool of my coat. Taking comfort where it could be had. I was so tired.

My eyes, in the mirror. Struggled againsed faint bluish smudges.Even as I tried to smile, nothing looked okay.

Bobby sat opposite me, and I wondered if even now he was assessing my behavior. Deep in thought his tap, tap, tapping punctuated the

quiet. Hand over mouth rubbing his jaw line, his hair, and his neck. Fairly bursting with the need to say something...my energetic partner leaned

over patting my leg. I prepaired myself for his worst. He'd come to some kind of conclusion..holding my breath..it was one of those explosive

Bobby moments. Where he would thrust home his idea. Asking the one thing that could catch you off guard. Getting you to confess.

''I'm getting a sandwich. You want one?''

My lungs squeezed out the remaining air, and I almost did start laughing. Sandwiches, I'd been worried over a folded square of processed

meat!

We pulled up to the curb at one of our favorite deli's.The blue in the sky, I'd noticed was now a chalkboard grey.

''No thanks'' I mumbled.

''You need to eat Alex''.

I weighed the outcome of the conversation if I was to protest again.Deciding I had no energy to argue my point, especially with a certain

man right now. I was lucky he'd let our discussion from earlier drop. Let's not press the issue. I turned, and smiled at him deflating his

growing concern, and letting Bobby father me a little.

''Surprise me''.

This seemed to please him as he stepped from the car to the pavement.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hunching barely over trying to camouflage myself. I pushed into the afternoon lunch rush. Sometimes my height was convieniant, but not

always. And although people probably could not tell by looking, I sometimes felt like a small man in a giant mammal suit.

Not that the suit was too small. But more my lack of species identification. When this happened, I found myself blanking. Just long enough

to come back with an extra kick in my step. It scared the hell out of me.Alex was who I was worried about today. She'd said it was just

nightmares.

On average children between the ages of 5and10 had the most random dream sequences-nightmares-Once you were a teen the percentage

droped,and after you entered your 20's, unless a stressor triggered by some emotional response. Some area of her life then, then...

He didn't know any area of here life that could be effecting her that badly.Two days now and getting worse. If it had anything to do with him

she would tell him wouldn't she?

Before when they'd been in the car he'd decided to try talking to her again. Good food, and conversation. After all he was good at asking questions

Minus the fact that it was her job as well. He might be able to atleast knock something loose.

Well he'd play nice for her. Of course he'd eventually get something out. After all she was not just his partner, but someone he trusted more

than anything. And she needed to learn she could put her trust in him also, no matter what she had to tell him.

The look she'd given him with her soft brown eyes earlier. If he could've gently nudged her then. She'd been about ready to spill out.

Then something, something had pulled, pretty damn stongly, pulled her back. Alex was no weak woman. So he had to figure it could be

something major.

He had to find out. What if she needed his protection? Protection Bobby, protection from what? Don't go racing off on your white horse before

The ladies even left her tower. Well right now he'd start by feeding the lady. And in order to do that he must deliver her a sandwich...

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Sitting back in my seat I watched the birds circling over the skyline, my breathing frosting the glass. A cold autumn leaf, fluttered across the back

Of my hand. I'd been turned into the window when his welcoming breeze disturbed me.

Smiling broadly I came around to an unexpected surprise in my passenger seat. Yeah it could've been Bobby sitting beside me, palms up in a

''Okay truce now here's your sandwich''. But instead I was greeted by Robert:lack of comfort there in...

''Robert''.I said watching as he cocked his eyebrow, and puckered his lips. His way of conformation.

''I missed you...Alex''.He pulled closer wrapping his fingers at the nape of my neck, and twirling them in lazy circles through my hair.

''But you don't know, do you?You don't understand what's going on?''

Finding my voice'''Why should I talk to you at all Robert? You're just a dream, a fantasy. Brought on with my struggling desire, and you talk

nothing but nonsense''.

I tried to form a stronger argument, but was distracted by his touch. Wake up, wake up, wake up! I repeated over and over in my mind.

''A dream, you think I'm a fucken dream''? Robert began laughing. He threw back his head, and howled like a lunatic.

Stopping suddenly he grabbed up my hand swallowing it with his large one.

''Does this feel like a fucking dream Alex? Alex my beautiful but stupid girl...''He brought my palm up to his chest. Where I could feel his

excitement through the fabric of his shirt.

''I'd like to take you right now ...but that would ruin my plans. I want it to build up Alex, until you feel like your going insane...I want you ready when

I come for you''. This was said in barely a whisper.

Wake up.Wake up.Wake up, Alex!

Curling his hand in my hair, he brought his lips to mine. Leaving my lips bruised, I was screaming...

Blackness...and then...I was staring into the troubled face of Bobby.

''I think now ...would be. A good..time to tell me what's bothering you. And who's this Robert?''

I gulped shaking my head. I acknowledged his request with all the grace I could muster.


	5. Chapter 5

Yes, and time once again to journey into the A/B world. Stalling for a while sent me back some, even though I have the next few chapters written out-long ways of coarse-I get kind of picky sometimes about my work, and balancing the line between over perfection, and too much sloppiness-I get rather frustrated

with myself. Then I need to take a few days to baby my stuck up sense of pride. Yep I got to jump start my engine once again..But I'll tell ya reading others

stories always helps...and so here I begin the next few installments--thanks and enjoy-

Don't own LOCI-Alex or Bobby...Although sometimes I wouldn't mind keeping Vincent for myself somewhere-hehe-So please don't sue me

**And Who's This Robert?**

The question I had no intention of answering at this moment...My exhaustion was setting in deeply. I felt immobile, and somewhat frightened.

Even my voice seemed stuck. I could not tear my gaze away...Damnet, why did my body choose now to react. Lying cuddled in his arms, never

more glad that I was female. Or more aware of it. Bobby's lips were moving,. Holding my attention with there gentle curves.

I'm sure he was saying something, but my comprehension was waning. The rhythm of his lips was lulling me to sleep. Sleep I was sorely in need of getting was banging against my eyelids. I was loosing the battle quickly.

The fear in his eyes made me feel dizzy yet grateful for the life line it provided. He was stroking my face in his hands, looking more frantic with my

continued silence. His voice finally beat out the audible pounding of my veins.

''Alex please,snap out of it!''-Was the last thing I heard before my battle with sleep was lost.

**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

I had come back to the car to find her slumped over my seat, sleeping. But not peacefully. The look on her face..All scrunched into angels and plains.

She was terrified of something. My reaction was immediate as I dragged her slight form to me. Performing the motion swiftly. Alex lay unmoving, yet her

eyes were wide open.

My insides swelled with impotent rage, why was she not answering me? Fuck! I had left her alone, I had allowed something, whatever _this _was to

happen to her. My sweet partner. _My Alex..._

It was all my fault. Guilt like a blanket dropped over me. Smothering under its rough texture. I was touching her everywhere trying to find the source

of the problem.Untile my brain finally kicked into over drive.Dialing 911 with shaking fingers. Fingers that suddenly felt a whole hell of allot like surgical

gloves filled with Jell-O.

By the time we got to the hospital-minus the time spent prying her out of my arms. I felt so empty , the warmth of her body gone. I wanted, I needed

something conclusive.

Even the doctor looked at me suspiciously. Probably sensing the guilt I was trying hard to ignore. He said that it was just exhaustion. That maybe she

had been working too hard, that her lack of sleep made things worse. I nodded along as he spoke, feeling a little like the bouncing ball on the sing-along

tapes as he continued.

''She's sleeping right now. I don't intend to wake her..but when she does, I am giving her a prescription of sleeping pills. And maybe you should be their''.

Shaking my hand. Leaving me with a nervous stomach. I should have questioned her more. I knew something was going on, and I intended to find out

what.

**Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

I climbed out of a heavy sleep. I could feel hands wrapping mine snuggly. Letting my eyes

flutter on my cheeks. I shook off the remaining grains of my dreams.

The pressure on my hand soothed me, as Bobby called softly my name. It was his hand

Witch even now rubbed the pad of his thumb across my knuckles.

''What happened?''My voice scratchy but usable.

Looking into his face my breath caught. He was struggling with some pretty strong emotions. And by his rumpled appearance I'd say that he had been for quiet some time. The evidence of his ten o'clock shadow had me suddenly wanting to giggle.

Must be nerves, because his eyes told me this was not the time.

''Who is it Alex..Who is this Robert? How can I protect you when….when you won't even

tell me why you can't sleep? Then you y you float around in a daze?''

He must have been holding that in for a while. Bobby was so flustered and that was not

like him.I felt fuzzy that he cared so much, yet his anger was flaring up like the fires of hell. The urge to slink away was strong. Fueling my desire to spit in his face.

Why should I tell him anything when he was treating me like a petulant child.

Fine a petulant child I would be.

''I don't know what you mean Goren.'' –Using his last name to let him know how I felt.

I was on the defensive.

''Protect me! I told you I was fine!''I knew I was being bullheaded, but how dare he treat

me like a victim. I am a detective for god sakes!

''You could not even move when I found you. You told me it was just the nightmares. I'm

your partner. I'm supposed to watch your back at all times.If I'd known you were in danger I could have…would have..''

Gesturing wildly around he ran his fingers through his hair. The fire was extinguished from his eyes, as he reined his control back in. Approach me and going soft of expression.

''I need to know Alex. Because if I could have prevented…if theirs going to be a next time…''

''What are you going to do check under the bed, and inside the closet? Sit with me until

I can fall asleep? Save me from myself?''

The mood was wrong. I knew the mood was wrong. But still I pushed him away. Feeling it

to he turned briskly, leaving me to my miserable self.

**Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

**At home…..**

It was beyond repair. The first thing to catch my eyes had been the remains of my designer curtains. Flapping against what was obviously the point of entry and or exit.

Opening my mouth wide enough for my tongue to swim around inside. I stifled the urge

to scream. Opting instead to lower my automatic cop recourses. And logically check out the rest of the apartment.

Gun poised beneath my hovering fingers. I moved along all the inside surface walls first.

Choosing to stay out of the range of any sudden attacks. I wished I had not chased

Bobby away earlier. With my sharp and stupid remarks, and he was here now, covering me. He had always been agile for all his bumbling detective act. Reminding me again that he was not always what he seemed.

Sometimes late at night I found myself trying to figure the big guy out. As if the extra insight would one day untangle him like an electrical cord. In some ways I actually ached to know him, to understand him better.

It was a feeling I choose to pretend away most of the time. Only in the hours of the early

morning, before the grayish light filtered between the blinds. Imagining his large form

sleepy and tousled. Folded around me, my lips finding his temple. Lightly tickling him awake, and under my influence. Wicked but fleeting thoughts. That sent a perverse pleasure uncoiling in my stomach.

Maybe it was the taboo of the whole thing that raised my blood- pressure. That turned his quick glances into coy artful seductions. That had me staring at his hands and wondering if size really did matter. And thinking that if Bobby made love the same way he did everything else there would be no room for improvement.

I blushed despite the situation. He still stole my breath..god was I becoming obsessed.

He was right I am in danger. of showing Bobby my hand.

I stoped, immediately wretched out of my thoughts. The drawer to my bureau was open. Witch considering the chaos that had become my trendy apartment was no surprise.

Yet when my eyes caught the reason my undergarment drawer was open. Any lesser of a woman would have fainted, and I thought I just might…..

Hanging in a two-way pattern. Was a pair of my mangled underwear followed by my braw. They were shredded into almost unidenafyable pieces. Stained with what looked like my red lipstick. But that being ..the message huge across my wall. Was not outdone

by blood red threats._I'm coming for you…Alex…….._

Scared as I have ever been for my life. I did the first thing that came to mind.

I called Bobby Goren.

Revelations abound in the next installment you shouldn't have to wait that long. It's almost done…yea cigars and drinks all around…


	6. Chapter 6

Okay, I've been sitting on this for a few days even though it's been ready, but I've been working, and extra monies is always a good thing.

This chapter and the next one was so fun to write, I grinned the whole way through. So I hope you enjoy it atleast half as much.

Oh and someone was saying something about finding a reader for my fics so the mistakes aren't as abundant, so if anyone knows

anything about how to do that please tell me...Thanx Corrode

Oh I don't own LOCI or any of the characters, don't sue.

**Consumed...**

I sat staring out at the rain. Lazy droplets circling one and other in a mesmerizing dance. They jumped and glided on a perfect

temporal scale. My attention absorbed in thoughts of Robert. Robert, my dark lover. Why did I feel like their was something missing

when it came to him. Something I should know yet did not. Lately he had taken on more substance for me, becoming more solid.

A face so ingrained into me. A symbol of all that was good-everything I wanted in this life. Dressed up in dark shadows.

I wanted love, not rape, not possession. Stability a strong foundation that would not crumble, even at the chance of structural damage.

And something to build opon..What every goddamn woman wants-hopes to exists.

So in this -lack of sleep, dark men scaling the shadows, my apartment exploding of unnatural disaster...It's too much. Sensory

overload. A victim of random coincidences, compiled for my enjoyment! So here I sit staring glumly out Bobby's front room

window.

Sipping at a hot tot tie-tea with a healthy dollop of whisky in it-trying to mask the chill that has settled in my body.

I curled my toes up beneath me, noticing when Bobby placed a fleece-like lap blanket over my shoulders-I could smell him in the fabric.

And I stated this fact flatly.

''It smells like you''.

''Sorry I might have something fresher..''

I giggled, not realizing he would take it so out of context.

''No Bobby, I was just stating a fact, not saying that you stink.''

''You like the way I smell?'' Leave it to Bobby to get right to the heart of the matter. Trying not to think about it I answered quickly.

''I'm around you so much that it's comforting''. Not really a lie, but I wasn't about to tell him that his scent turned me on.

Made me throb with anticapation,yern for things...I know I am important to him. It's just that I wanted something more than

plutonic partnerly backslaps.

Something a bit more affectionate, kinky. Yea-kinky and raw..loving and fucking. Couldn't I have both?

I smiled, feeling the heat come off of Bobby's pacing form. If he would just grab me, and thrust me against a wall. Dip me around for a kiss...

Giving me no time for resistance, or reasonable arguments. God if only...

It would take so much to even put him in that position, that desperate. Even if he did want me, witch he'd shown no ad version to in the past

five years. It would take a fucken miracle. I snorted blowing my hair from my face I stated''This is nice why don't you pull up a coach or something

and join me?''

Holding his arms behind his back he appeared to be considering something.

''Alex I think you should stay here at least for tonight''.

I gulped thinking about all the wrong things that could happen if I spent the night with this man. Darting a glance through my hair-to his eyes-then

lips-resting on his hands that even now fiddled in his lap.

A blush forming on my chest down to my toes. Still hiding behind my hair Bobby came in closer, bending to catch a glimpse of my expression.

Becoming very uncomfortable with the images that plagued my thoughts. I choose my best Bobby defense wisely-humor.

''Oh come on Bobby it takes more that that to get me into bed''. Playfully hitting his arm I noticed his amused look-yes! The deflection had worked.

''Somehow Alex I don't think it would be easy at all. I think you'd make me work for it''.

Almost choking on his statement-I had not expected him to play along-The hot liquid

flowed down the wrong pipe. Coughing and sputtering, I finished my last sip. He smiled

sardonically laughing while rubbing his neck.

''I think I need another one, please no skimping on the whisky, and maybe I'll consider

your proposel''.Placing the mug in his grasp, I turned back toward the window.

This evening was beginning to look up. Maybe it was the alcohol, the romantic rain, or

the out of character teasing from my partner. But I felt pretty damn good considering.

I winked at him as he left the room.

It was getting late. I needed to decide. Too much longer and last minute choices would

leave me with only one. Could I stay here?

I mean I saw him almost all day long, and managed not to jump him. It was just on such a different level. His apartment…His musky scent mixed into every available surface.

Teasing me, calling me to a bedroom where he lay tangled in his covers all night long.

It would be so easy to sneak in, as he lay there, venerable, and half asleep…running

my hands down his chest, tracing the trail of curls all the way down. He'd be awake

by that time, and I'd have my answers. With a growl I'd end up underneath him as he pinned me gasping to the bed. Oh god…I shivered so hard I almost cut my lip with my

teeth. Stop it Alex! I could do this I could make it through one night.

I felt safe here. We'd spent nights together before.Steakouts, late night case loads,

piece of cake. So why should this be any different?

_Because its dangerous-_I heard the tiny voice above my shoulder whisper.Bobbys not

dangerous, I thought..angry at this disembodied nucience._What if you get it Alex?_

_What if you get what you wish for? _

Yeah right-so I want him physically. That doesn't mean I'll act out on it, I'm a grown woman for gods sakes.

I was suddenly angry. Why the hell couldn't I have Bobby Goren? Feeling like a child

being denied her favorite treat I crossed my arms over my chest, and pouted.

''Whats wrong''? Handing me my drink he sat back down.

''Just having an argument with myself…I've decided to stay''.Quickly, but quietly I

was not going to give myself room to back out. I know I can do this. So _fuck it_ I'm going

to. Trying not to laugh as I realized that was exactly what I was not going to do.

Damn you Goren! One man should never cause this much angst.

''Come on it wont be that bad-if I snore you can always poke me in the ribs''.

Horrified I asked in a small voice''Thiers the couch right?''

Hiding his smile behind his hand I noticed he was teasing me again- note to self catch

Bobby off work more often.

''I geuss you do make a guy work for your favor, huh Alex?''

Smiling I dropped him another wink, and stated''You bet your ass I do''!

''wouldn't my ass already be part of the package?''

Feeling empowered of whisky. I leaned in like I was letting him in on something. Placing

my hand on his leg, looking him square in the eyes. I said low, and throaty.

''I'll only take the whole package…Bobby''. Wanting to finish this out with a resounding

check-mate…take that Bobby Goren-don't verbally spar with me unless you mean it-

And to test a theory. His reaction.. face red, lack of response. Was encouraging but I hadn't meant to embarrass him. I knew I had hit a nerve. The question, was it the one I'd

been aiming for? Score one point for me? The victory was hallow. Letting him down

easily I defused the situation.

''Besides, who would want just an ass anyhow? What fun would that be?''

Slapping his arm I downed the rest of my drink.


	7. Chapter 7

All right, next chapter. I wanted this one to take on a more light-hearted feel. Or fluff as you guys call it. I finally saw the movie_ Happy Accidents._

With Vincent D'Onofrio in it, and well, I am just hoping his character doesn't color Bobby in a different light-So don't be surprised if you see a little

of Sam in their...not done on purpose, but visually all the extreme facial expressions was good for my minds picture. Seeing as you write, is half

the fun! So here we go. Thanx for reading.

**Cumulated Effects...**

The water swirled inside the bottom of the mug. Soapy bubbles rotating counter clockwise. Asking Alex to stay had given me an

uneasy forecast into future problems. I was alarmed, it was strange having her here at all. Always I felt comfortable in her company, never like

now. I felt jumpy as hell. Like I was on a caffeine buzz. As inadequate as a teenage boy, and I hated this. How could I protect Alex when I felt

so helpless myself? At first it was just a nagging, until it hit me like a lightning bolt. I had always managed to squelch I was struck dumb.

Paralyzed in all these new feelings for her. Closing the door proved difficult, so I choose to try a filter instead. How the fuck long had I felt

this way.God I'd been dense!

Earlier I'd been ideally thumbing a book when to my chagrin Alex had entered the room. Unprepared for the sight before me I glanced up

in surprise. More than a little contrite, my mouth went slack, and dry breaths wheezed out past my teeth. I saw my fluffy dark towel wrapped

around the wetness, that was her skin. Thinking in reeling circles-check one detective Goren is still very male, but not much of a gentleman.

I finished, glancing away quickly...Was that the outline of her nipple?

I felt myself tightening in my pants. Damnet- swallowing past the lump forming in my throat, I feigned interest in my book. Until her small white

feet came into view. Bright red polish? Hmmmm...a side of Alex I wouldn't mind digging around in. I found myself considering a nibble, or

a kiss on each brightly colored appendage. She shifted her weight, clearly getting impatient.

''Yes''? I asked. Continuing my study or lack there of in my reading material. ''Look Bobby do you have a ti-shirt or something clean I can borrow''?

Her voice was plain, no worries or untold desires there- What were you expecting Goran to have her pleading for you to fuck her. To have you

crush her body to yours and rip away that towel like a prehistoric alpha male. Keeping her captive while taking what you wanted- Deep breath-just me and

my big stupid enlarging erection. Never more glad for a book at hand. At least my layers were abundant enough, so when I stood it would

hopefully mask my embarrassment. Thank god it was only semi-hard. Stile annoying however.

''Uhh...Bobby are you okay?''- Great how long had I spaced that time. I hope she couldn't read my eyes.

''Third drawer down''. Waiting for her to leave the room. A shower sounded like a good idea. Wait--had I just let someone, namely Alex, enter

my bedroom to paw through my cloths? What if she misplaced something,or..or left a wrinkle?

It had to remain a certain way. Folded tight, crease to crease. Being in the Army had given me an arena in witch to perfect my _Obsessive_

_Compulsive Disorders _or O.C.D.'s as some people call them. I just liked things a certain way, without chaos.

Things needed to have order to them. Maybe it was a control issue. After all even when life seems to be falling down all around you. At least their was

a pattern. A constant you could always depend upon. When I knew I could count upon something-always- that's what was needed. Mental

images of sloppy piles of cloths danced before my mind. What if the next time I open the drawer...feeling haunted with possibilities I darted

toward my room. I had to make sure everything was returned to its original location.

**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

I ignored the urge to get a good lungful of Bobby's bed. He'd probably notice if I wrinkled anything. How would I explain that one?

''Sorry just had to test it out, Bobby dear-just call me Goldie locks''.

Zoning out on the bed I was remembering my thoughts from earlier. I wonder if he would notice if I just hopped on up their, and rubbed

myself agansed his pillows for a while, like a cat. I'm sure my wet spot I left behind would be a give away. Especially after he smelled it.

Witch being Bobby he would, rubbing it between his fingers like it was lotion. What would be my excuse then? I can't even imagine his face

when it was clear, what he held right bellow his nose. All eyes, and open mouth. His adorable little boy expression. It was a hard one to

catch on him, because he was usually so controlled. Rare indeed, and made that much more precious. I sighed best to forgo all these

what ifs. Alex this can't be healthy.

The towel slid to the ground leaving only my underwear, as I turned to find a shirt. Damn even his cloths folding ability was amazing. I hesitated

afraid to touch the masterpiece that lay before me.

And suddenly regretted not locking the door behind me. As Bobby larger than life, and looking more than a little frantic, burst in through the door.

Two handfuls of naked breast became a quick defense. And Bobby's award winning little boy came to a stop so quickly I was afraid he would tumble over his own feet, right into an even more embarrassing situation--naked Alex under apologizing detective.

Squeaking more from reflex from almost colliding than anything else. I stood blinking like a deer caught in the headlights, not just any headlights

Alex your sexy partners headlights. Analyzing the situation in about five seconds, I wished I had the guts to just remove my hands, step forward,

and take care of my growing problem. Instead I did the opposite, yelling at him to get out.

Coming out of his daze he shook his head, and bolted. I wondered if I was as flushed as I felt.

**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

I came out studying my toes, not planning to say anything unless the ball started in his court. It was his bedroom after all. What had caused me to

think undressing in his room would be a good idea? Well, I had been floating around on clouds ever since this afternoon. While sitting surrounded

by his stuff.I'd consumed alcohol. It had almost felt natural-me, Alex Eames lounging in his apartment, as if I was a permanent fixture.

When he'd taken me under his wing, I'd been relieved-to say the least-I never let myself be supported like that. It would have made me feel weak

in any other situation. Looking back now I saw all the blind spots I'd side-stepped earlier this week. No wonder Bobby was worried about me. I was acting like a damn fool. And the thing was, Bobby was there at the center of things. I could see him perched on his thrown like a deity. When the hell had I

elevated him to such a status in my life. I was being stupid, and reckless, and if I ever gave over to him imagine the power shift. Maybe my imagination

was a likely substitute that the catastrophe that would ensue.

Screw being embarrassed! At least we'd be _blue ballen _it together now. Satisfaction spread in my smile, he couldn't have not been affected. Surely it

atleast gave him pause to think...Jump starting his labido.Possabilities...I knew I should've taken care of things in the shower. But this exquisite

torcher was almost worth the anticapation.If I waited I knew it would be that much better in the end.

Okay-mabey I did owe him an apology for being so sharp with him, in his room while messing through his drawer.

''I'm sorry''.I said into the silence that had replaced our teasing from before. He looked at me startled.

''Alex its me who barged in''.

''But its your room. I should've known better...I wasn't thinking.I mean you can't walk around naked like that in someone else's room.''As an afterthought

I added''atleast not your partners room''. The last part said in such a low voice, I wasn't sure if he'd realized their was a double meaning until

I looked into his face.

Puzzled...I could tell he was figuring right now. Wheels cranking,hampster running. Whatever controlled his huge brain?

''You should've slapped me I barged in like a, like a..''

''Like you own the place? You do, so stop feeling bad about it. It was an honest mistake...that I made. And I choose not to dwell on it because if I do-

I'll start to overanalyze things. It could make it weird between us''.

Taking Bobby's hand in mine, I tilted my face up to show him I was fine.

''Besides it's not like you stood leering at me like an old pervert''.

''I might have if you had not yelled-snapping me out of it''.Now there was humor in his voice, I was glad for the escape route it provided.

''Been that long for you to huh?''looking at him impishly.

''You have no idea. I usually have to close my eyes- I feel like you got the raw end of the deal''! Too bad I couldn't tell him it was him I saw behind my eyes.

''You could always strip if you feel that things are unequal''. Laughing, and tugging at his coat sleeve. For a second time that night his face turned red.

''Awww...Bobby you blush so prettily''.

''I'll be in the shower''. the flat bleached tone in his voice was enough to make me giggle.Yup..._blue ballen_ it together.


	8. Chapter 8

Post'en up the next chapter-this one took a while cause I had all these different directions I wanted to go. It was like a tug-o-war, until it finally hit me as I was waxing the floors one night, and I suddenly just knew...POOF time to bring Robert more fully into the story-on with the plot. So here it is, and yes now you know he is a separate person I had some trouble with this because I wasn't sure how to introduce the whole idea. So evil twin meet Bobby Gore and here we go.Enjoy!

**Prospect Seduction...**

I used to watch him when we were kids, although Bobby never knew. Every day I'd walk six blocks their, six blocks back. A long walk for an eight year old. Just to watch.

To see what I would never have. To see what he did have. Why she would keep him, and throw me away-like a bag of garbage.

The man I lived with would have told you that I was garbage. That no one had wanted me because I was useless, hopeless, no-good-All those things and more. I smiled bitterly in rememberance.Then after breaking my spirit he'd beat me, until it hurt just to turn in my sleep. After a while he'd stopped sending me to school. Because he said''Those damn teachers are too nosey for their own good''! Then there was no one but me and him.

So these walks six blocks each day had started as nothing more that an escape. Until that first day that I spotted Bobby. It was strange because on the out side we looked alike. I remember thinking how this must all be some cruel joke, an illusion. How could we ever be the same when the scales had obviously been tipped in his favor. Crooked- like his precious metal to my moldy bread. I felt as if I'd been banished forever from a life that should be mine. It was as much Bobby's fault as anybody's.

So I sank it all onto his shoulders. He became my target my symbol of all the injustices-since then and always. He became my beacon, my obsession-my light in his dark.

Then one day as the sun shone brighter than usual for this time of year. Squinting as the silver of the monkey bars winked through behind Bobby's slight bent form. He'd been sitting that way for an hour, working slowly but methodically on creating a bunker for his collection of soldiers. I admired his dedication as his lips moved when he scooped through the dirt. He stile does this sometimes like he's putting his thoughts into order for reveiwing.Yet that's not what got my attention. It was the halo that glowed from behind.

As if even god was blessing him, celesteral choirs, and fucking blowing trumpets. Sun hits bars equals a revelation. If I could just find a way. A way to take Bobby's life someday...I could have the life I was meant for. Replacing his with my own-a balance would be restored. It was perfact.It was mine.

I'd run home quickly that day. Assured I'd found some magical loop hole. Even after the beating I received for going off again-I still glowed. Because I knew that one day when the time was right I would take from Bobby all the things that were rightfully mine.

As we got older I always kept at least one eye on him. From a distance of course. And I waited.

I watched him struggle past that awkward social barrier to finally become a man. I was proud of him just as family should be. It was like watching a play, but oh so much more personal. On the sidelines I was his biggest fan-lost in the show until...the perfect opportunity presented itself. All my aspirations put into a beautiful pair of legs, and deep-set eyes. Bobby's weak spot. I remember laughing when I realized how much he actually cared for her. Beyond most others.

And Alexandra Eames took on a whole new light for me. My path became clear, directly through Alex.

A year of planning, and now here I sat-Stationed across from Bobby's apartment, watching Alex through the green lens of my night scope. She looked like an angel, and she was. Sweet Alex deliver me from this life, reborn in another. And in return I would take care of her. I would show her what ''Robert'' would do for her. Show her all the ways ''Robert'' could please her. At least as ''Robert'' I could give her something Bobby never had-my whole being.

I closed my eyes, imagining it was Alex who stroked me, who squeezed me, who pressed into me. With her small mouth hanging open in a small moan, as I took her lips in mine. I would give her so much, filling her to the brim of madness, of ecstasy. I yelled out as thoughts of her broke my control.Lerching over I collapsed onto the couch.

Spinning the scope around in the stand in my exhaustion. Gasping in a lump of pillows, and trembling flesh, I lay in the dark smiling to myself.''Oh Alex wont you be surprised?''

**ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

I wanted to sleep, but I kept going over things in my head. Alex hadn't seemed as concerned about the destruction in her apartment as she should have been. But it was Alex after all, we're trained to keep our fear response down. That message on her wall had been direct, and deliberate-personal. It scared me becuase I'd been on pins, and needles all day with her. Then she had called. I'd gotten to her apartment very quickly. When I saw her standing among the wreckage-so small yet defiance shinning in her eyes. Relief so immense I'd gone to her immediately wrapping her in my arms. Stiff and shocked by my actions Alex had pulled back enough to study my face. Then she had smiled.

I wanted answers then, but I'd let her put me off for now. Why was she so willing to be evasive, this Robert guy, what was she hiding? Folding my knuckles over my chest I wished their was a way to turn down my thoughts for the night. That sleep wouldn't wait until the grey morning light pushed in through my windows-to drag down my eyelids. It was on nights like these...When the loneliness was overwhelming. When the thought of a warm body in bed was tantalizing in the least. The idea of holding Alex beneath me, cradling her head in one hand, while the other idly, in the slightest of action stroked her sides. Snuggling her chin in the hallow beneath my jaw. Just right-as I could feel the touch of her breath, the brush of her lips.

My mouth went dry I needed some water. I should have said something earlier, letting her off the hook yet again was fool hardy. But I'd been preoccupied by our banter. Probably a direct reaction of this new current we shared. We were testing it out, adding a new layer to our partnership.

Filling the glass with water I turned to start back to my room. When Alex came into view, tossing around on the couch acting distressed. I bent smoothing the wrinkle from her forehead. As I did she arched into my touch sighing deeply''Oh god Robert!''

Knitting my brows I cursed under my breath. Never had her voice sounded in that tone, all breathy and languid. Who the hell was this man? She sounded like a bitch in heat. Well...maybe that was a bit harsh, but hell I was tired of playing this little game with her. This whole coy thing was driving me nuts. So I'd up the ante. It appeared as if Robert could get all the info, if he needed it, even if he was playing dirty. If I changed tactics? Change of fucking plans Bobby! I'll find out what's going on even if I have to appeal to the same side as the Robert guy to do it.To..to a baser nature, in Alex. Just thinking about it made me fidget. Get her to react like Robert does, then she would open for me.

Okay so maybe it was not the right way to do things. But he wanted her to be safe. Bobby are you thinking of debauching your partner? Could it be done? Was the end worth the means? It was farther than I'd ever gone before. Risky, true-but he did not want anything to happen to Alex. He'd need to consider it some more, it would probably get results. Later on he could explain himself. Tell her how he had just wanted to protect her. That it had all been part of his plan. She might hate him if he succeeded.

I'll take that chance. After all separation would be like removing a vital part of their team.


	9. Chapter 9

**Daylight Musings...**

The shrill ring of the telephone jolted me out of whatever remains of sleep I still held. Smoking the privileged cigarette held some appeal after the dreams from last night.

Must be the change in locations, adding my already volatile musings, had been a recipes for hot crazy dreams. Rubbing my eyes with the backs of my hands. I tried not to growl out Bobby's name.

''Oh come on Bobby, answer your _damn_ phone''! Stomping into his room, I had every intention of using the pillow I had clutched in my hands as a make-shift prodding tool.

Waking him up as suddenly as I had been. Ruin my dreams would you! The wind went out of my sail when I saw the empty unmade bed. As I stood in the doorway the answering machine kicked on.

''Hello Bobby are you their''? You could hear the pout as the voice purred from inside the black electronic box.Ooozing with sex appeal she continued.

''I missed you last night. Playing with my toys just aint the same as playing with you''.

On and on the message went getting so explicit, I actually considered picking up the phone just to shut the _bitch _up! Boy, how shocked would she be.

It was stupid, I was stupid! Of course he has girlfriends he's not a monk for gods sake. Score one - another point under good reasons not to tell him about Robert. Let him go on believeing it was another man, a man he knew nothing about. If he could keep his women under wraps, I could at least pretend I had a man at hand as well. Someone big and strong waiting in the wings. Spare me the theatrics of the irony in this situation please. His flesh and blood woman _lucky bitch _was probably lounging beneath him even as I threw my mental tantrum.

Where else could he of gone? The unmade bed led me to believe he thought it was pretty _damn _important! I glared at the blinking red of the alarm clock. Taunting me in its electric red tempo-_eight a.m.-eight a.m.-eight a.m.-_ that late alreay! So maybe he had gone out for a quickie with mystery phone tag woman.

Being irrational seemed to agree with me as I stuck out my tongue, and flipped the bird at his unmade bed, where he should be sleeping at eight on the weekend.

He made me so angry sometimes. Looking at me with one eyebrow rose-as if Bobby Goren was ever completely clueless. He knew how to play a woman, hell it was part of him, finding out how to get to people then blowing them out of the water. Sometimes he forgot how to play fair, it was only natural some of it would transfer over into his life. These lines had been blurred over the years. So if he really pooled his resources, it will be hard to keep resisting. He would find a crack in my armor eventually. But that didn't mean I wasn't going to fight like hell either.

Last night when he'd rushed into my apartment-all chivalry tall, dark, and armed. Throwing his arms around me. I was surprised by his lack of restraint, I realized that sometimes I forgot how human he actually was, that he wasn't superhuman. I mean I knew that he was mortal it was just that I got so caught up in things sometimes that I over looked that side of him.

Being their crushed into his huge embrace, I'd panicked at first going ridged. Then pulling back I allowed my self to search his face. What I saw their- he had been worried about me perhaps more than I gave him credit for. There was a bleakness reflected by the set of his jaw that made the lump in my throat hard to swallow past. A yearning to make sure I was alright that made me breathless. I thought about telling him everything then. He was giving me so much with the openness of his unguarded expression. That I felt I should give him something else in return. Telling him he had nothing to worry about, how the dreams were just silly non-threatening fantasies _yea right _how the apartment ordeal must have some simple explanation-_nothing that was dangerous._

Then I'd seen the light go out of his eyes as he tilted his head to study the message written across the wall. I knew then that Bobby would never settle for any of the pale excuses I could give him. Of course he would be right. That was the worst part because the more I thought about it, the more I knew just how much danger I could be in.

I smiled up at him doing the best to dampen the anxiety growing inside of me and stated.

''I was planning on redecorating anyway''.

Bobby being who he is understood. Taking hold of the situation he called Deakins, and got some guys down to do the report then look around. After that he offered me his arm, supporting me to his apartment. Leaving the crime scene must have been hard for him, but he'd left to be with me. What more could I have asked for? Except for maybe some of that bone shattering sex the woman on the phone seemed to be getting plenty of. That would have taken my mind off things.

Fuck Alex, you need to stop thinking of him in that manor. He'd corrupted my thoughts, making me feel like a dirty teenage boy. There were too many doubts to sink my future into something that shaky.

Hearing something shuffling outside the door. I went to open it wide, to find the reason Bobby had for leaving so early in the morning. Hoping he didn't reek of perfume, as he smiled at me sheepishly in remorse. I yanked open the door to find a note taped to the splintered wood.

On the front of the envelope my name was printed in big block red letters. This was odd and I considered waiting for Bobby to open it up, but my curiosity got the best of me. With trembling fingers I undid the seal, and looked inside. Dried rose petals clung to the thick black construction paper. It smelled like sex. So I wasn't surprised to find most of the petals stuck together by something that had already dried. I gagged on the strong scent of roses drowned among something only a man could provide.

The paper was done as a decoupage, like it had been clipped out from a novel, and it read;

_And as he spread her out beneath him. _

_He knew where she belonged..._

_She belonged to him._

Not much to go on, to the point non-the-less. Reading through the letter a second time Bobby walked in the door, totting coffee, and breakfast in his long arms.

''I let you stay for one night, and you're already reading my mail''. Noting the envelope in my hand, he put down the bags. Turning with a forced cheerfulness, he seemed tight around the mouth, something was wrong. Quickly for such a big man he had the note before I even had time to be alarmed. Dropping it not long after discovering the context-I watched in horror as the desecrated petals floated to the floor. I could not tear my gaze from the perversion that lay at Bobby's feet. Feeling violated _whoever was leaving me threats knew enough to know where I had stayed last night-_I barely heard him as Bobby commented in a disgusted voice.

''Eames, what the _hells _going on, is this from Robert?''


	10. Chapter 10

Hello I know it's been awhile I just had some difficulty with this chapter. I re-wrote it so many times because things weren't snapping together like I wanted them to...so finally I decided to settle for what I could feel most comfortable with, and this is what came out. Taking what I knew about Bobby I wasn't sure how to make him react under the pressure of the last so many chapters, so I said to myself you know Lacey he's just a man, don't expect so much perfection from him..let him be a pissy asshole, everyone does things they regret when their angry. So here it is, I never new how much fun it could be writing an argument. Thanks for reading.

**Stand Off...**

The accusation in his eyes made my stomach sick, made me want to turn away. His turmoil made my head spin, feeling as if things were crumbling faster than I could reach to set them strait, as my mind was scrambling for purchase in this crazy down-ward spiral. So I tried to avoid looking into his eyes pain threatening to leak through in mine. A hovering guilt washed over me in waves, hurting him was never my intention.

I regretted all the things I should have said, and still-what could I say? Turning, I supported myself on the back of his couch, palms up, ducking my head so my hair would swallow my shinning eyes. Standing their, all I could see was Bobby's expression on the canvas behind my lids.

The idea of someone sending me something so graphic in nature, yet meant to be pretty, like a gift I should swoon over. And then their was Bobby...his blame blazing, crackling in every twitchy movement. Wound up like a spring-ready to pop. I wasn't being truthful I wasn't playing fair, and he knew this. What could I tell him about Robert that would improve anything. Telling him would make things worse, my dreams weren't open for discussion-the awkwardness, and especially after finding out about that woman on the phone...I bristled just thinking about her, firming my resolve against any dream recounting.

I waited for his silent stair to develop a voice. He'd turned towards me numerous times- hands poised, mouth slack, then he would continue his pacing. The moment stretched- his stillness almost as effective as his words could sometimes be.

''How can I help you when you won't lay everything out on the table''? He was rounding me now picking up speed and sounding more determined by the second. I knew this game..Bobby had slipped into interrogation mode, and I wasn't in the least surprised. Although it felt strange I'm sure it came natural after so many years. Or maybe interrogation mode was more Bobby than I'd ever realized.

''This guy could be dangerous Alex...but you're still holding, holding back''. Leaning a little closer he finished in a strangled but primal tone''Why won't you tell me? I thought their was more to us than this, this camouflage you insist on throwing up. I trust you so much but you..but you..you..I thought felt the same''!

Bending closer he was trying to find my eyes, filtered or not he wanted some clue.

His words affected me more than I was willing to let him know. Being Bobby they struck a ring of truth, being Bobby I wasn't sure how much was- could be true. After all he was in the mode, wasn't he? I wanted to believe him, but I felt so conflicted right now. I wrestled with what I could tell him-tweaking the truth for the better of things, might be a good option. I had to at least give Bobby something, as my partner he deserved at least that much, as a man he deserved to know evreything.The blow to my pride, could I give him that to appease him, would he understand the cost? Before I could make up my mind he came in again-harsh but soft.

''This friend Alex he knows where I live, how does he know that?''When I didn't answer he continued.''And I stress _friend _lightly because.. if what I heard last night..while you slept..is any indication.You, you sounded entirely too..aroused..for _Robert _to be just,just a friend''.Getting louder again I fumbled to comprehend. Oh yes, Bobby was bringing out the big guns now..and who said I was the only one not being fair?

So maybe I had talked in my sleep last night...I felt the blood drain from my cheeks as I finally looked up at him.''That's right Alex this guy is probably psychotic, and all you can do is moan about him in your sleep''! I rose to his bait, too agitated to play possum anymore.

''Last night Goren''? I asked stricken to the core.''What does last night have to do with that letter? What does my dream have to do with any of this?''

I choose to ignore the big pink elephant that had stomped into the room with Goren leading the damn thing. This sexual undercurrent that snapped from his eyes, leaving me with too many loose ends.

Crossing my arms over my chest, I pointed a finger at him-starting to feel less guilty, and more like the victim. ''It was just a dream..besides it could've been a nightmare''.

I latched onto this Idea hoping it would hold up...if it was just a little moan..Bobby hadn't been there, right?

He snorted, and rolling his eyes he took a step closer. Making me fear exactly how much he had overheard.

''The state you were in...skin all flushed..pink..the tone in your voice, soft...like you were begging.It hasn't been that long for me Alex-I know what a woman looks like when she..when she'' Bobby's voice had gone deep and husky, slightly pained as he paused to look me in the face.The challenge flew out like a gauntlet being thrown.It started to creep into his words when he spoke agan,not giving me time to recover from the first round of blows.

''The way,your lips parted falling open, to accept _Roberts's _phantom kisses. You..you glowed when you called out his name, as if only he could, only he could make you feel..''

He trailed off stepping even closer. Arms length away he might as well of been on top of me, with the way my skin burned. Promise so strong it was tangible like the scent of spice in the air. Fingers warm and steady he pulled me even closer, closer still to that promise.Licking my lips nervously I willed myself to remember how mad I was with him.

''You have no right Goren!''I spat wishing these feelings would dissipate, trying to wretch my arm free-his lips twisted sardonically as he spoke''No right, I have every right..Do I need to remind you how much danger you're in? If your off having an affair with a sicko I need to know''.

''If there was a sicko I'd let you know. Don't you think that I'm scared? You think I know whose doing this...you think I like it ...like some hormone crazed teen at a rock concert?'' I wanted to break our connection..to run.So I began backing slowly away as Bobby matched me step for step.

''How could you Goren...listen in on something that was so private? Eavesdrop, watching me like a voyeur...as if I was performing for your enjoyment?'' I saw the shadow of doubt, of remorse flicker across his face, yet still he advanced.

I felt so dirty; that I could be so personally invaded not just by the threats, but Bobby could have turned a blind eye. That damn note- it had transformed everything into something ugly, even coloring my thoughts of Bobby. After all he was frightened to, he was angry and somewhat betrayed that I would keep things from him.

Just yesterday I had wanted him looking at me in the way he looked now..like he was devouring me with his eyes..those half closed, fuck me eyes. But under these circumstances? Just what did he plan to do when he caught up?

I felt my back hit the door, subconsously even, I'd been trying to escape. This was a can of worms I wasn't sure I really wanted opened. It was too much after everything else that was going on. The smoothness of his movements, the downcast of his eyes-the small upturn of his lips as if to say _why run..you have no chance of getting out of this Alex. _Like he'd just swung in on his vine, and knew exactly what he wanted, like he was going to ravish me...Ignore the twinge of anticipation at a that thought Alex, and get buisy trying to make this situation change directions. That's what I wanted, right?

If Bobby succeeded I knew I would lose complete control...If that promise in his eyes turned real..I might as well throw in the towel. Was that his game plan to seduce me into telling him everything...but god I wanted him to do just that.

Fighting myself I began shaking against the onslaught of emotions. My fingers itching to rub across the stubble at his chin, itching to yank open the door and flee. Itching to pull him closer, then itching to push him away. I fired the only missile I could think of in his direction. I needed to put some kind of affront, it slipped past before I could rethink my strategy.

''Are you jealous then, or just territorial?'' Damnet-that came out differently than I thought it would, it sounded more like an assent.

Tilting my head back, his mouth inches from mine, and his breath tickling at my lips he replied ''A little bit of both, I think''.


	11. Chapter 11

Okay this is my newest chapter for Degradation I have to give credit to my beta reader because I feel like this was a combined effort I really appreciate her help. Because its so late that's it for now I should've gotten to sleep hours ago..oh well a little time with Vincent always makes me feel rested, Alex to of course but she holds a different place in my dreams.

Taste of coffee and toothpaste….

Bobby POV

In the light of the early morning, my scheme to get Alex to open up seemed silly. I wasn't sure of my plan as I returned to the apartment carrying coffee and Danishes, but was determined to get Alex to tell me the truth. Stepping past the potted plant I saw Alex standing in my door frame outlined inside the morning light that fell through my doorway. She was holding an envelope, varying emotions crossing her face. Unsure what was going on but trying for enthusiasm, I pasted on a bright smile, joking with Alex about going through my mail …until I realized what it was that she held in her hand.

Another threat. Another colorfully-demented concoction left by an unknown warped lover. What was that crusted inside with the rose petals? Holding it to my nose I sniffed at the envelope, then dropped it in revulsion.He'd laced it with his seed, I looked up at Alex, hurt and afraid for her. Alex must know this man. How else would he know where I lived? Know that she was there? Why was she hiding him like a secret, unless there was something to conceal?

''Eames, what the hells going on?Is this from Robert?''

My resolve to find out just what was going on became fresh as my concern for Alex's safety was again brought forward. My body erupted in frenzied energy as I paced back and forth trying to find the words.

Every time I turned to look at her and say something the words usually at the tip of my tongue failed me. I vented at her, my concern, and my alarm overlapping my common sense. Soon Alex was not even meeting my eyes.

Instead she supported herself on my couch, hiding behind her hair. She became more and more frustrated as I told her about finding her asleep and dreaming. As I listened to myself-my tirade became more about my feelings about Robert and less about how she was my partner, my lifeline, and here I was swaggering around like a bull challenged by the new bull in town;an unknown bull, interested in someone who I had no right to be interested in. I had no right to ask her how she felt, if she felt the same, if I could even expect her to want me over him. All these presumptions I was communicating to her without even saying a word.

She held my balls in her hands, because no matter how I pumped myself up strutting towards her like King Kong, if she rejected me I would deflate like a hot-air balloon. I was being swept into this cyclone of sexual desire. The closer I became to Alex's heat the more my control faded weakening in the face of Alex and the potential loss of her to another.

I found myself standing above her, her back to my door as if she'd been trying to flee, eyes wide staring upwards into mine, asking me if I was jealous or territorial. She knew exactly what was triggering my rage, and even in her fear, she mocked me with it. , Restraint long since thrown aside, taking her lips in mine, I showed her exactly how I felt. I knew then how much I wanted Alex. It had nothing to do with her Robert and everything to do with how she made me feel, had always made me feel. Like pebbles in a pond, one by one, these thoughts dropped, rippling outwards until the wave gathering inside me rolled into the tension emanating through her. I pressed myself into her, wanting to possess all of her, to memorize the texture of her softer fleash.Skin to skin, shaking against one and other. Not caring what she thought of me at the moment. Primal now,I needed to mark her as mine. Our lips connecting, tongues battling for dominance, tasting each other, finally we could belong to each other in a way we never had before.

Robert POV

I couldn't believe my eyes. He was kissing her, kissing my Alex. The argument had started just as I had wanted it to, setting into motion the perfect circumstances for my divide and conquer strategy . But, it had blown up in my face with this unexpected turn of events. I watched as Bobby pushed Alex against the door when she had obviously been trying to leave. I was fucking pissed. Alex is mine. The same way that the life he stole from me will be. I had waited too long to take Bobby's life from him and make it mine. I would not be denied, not his life, not Alex. I needed to do something to sever their relationship, and fast. Something drastic that would make it hard for her to forgive him. Perhaps if she thought I was Bobby……staring off into the darkened room an idea was starting to form.

Alex POV

Bobby was kissing me, and it was everything and more than I had ever wanted it to be. The taste and smell of his breath inside my mouth was pounding out a staccato of hasty intentions. The moisture of his tongue tasted of coffee and morning toothpaste. Who ever thought that combination could be so erotic? I wanted those large hands every where. Bobby's hands smooth and graceful discovering my body. I'd never wanted anything so much in my life.

There was so much command and desperation, power and lust, being pumped past my lips, that my knees sagged toward him.

The desire to press into Bobby, to give him all that he wanted pulsed at my core, weeping from the freedom of it all. Finally, we were being realized.

Memories of our time together quickened through my mind. The first time I had been introduced to Bobby and that funny tickle had stuck in my throat. Speechless, I had tried to present myself professionally, thrusting my hand out toward him, and he had looked at me, cocking his head almost like he understood. I'd fallen for his smile like a damn junkie. I found myself waiting eagerly for his hands to pass in chance meeting, delighted when he'd stop to help me on with my coat.

For the most part, until the dreams, I'd been slowly tricking myself into denial, telling myself lies about how disinterested I really was to this tall intelligent and caring man.

Plutonic, plutonic, plutonic… it had become my motto, my creed, irony of ironies, my badge.

I knew what I needed from him. We had to meet on even ground, if this was ever going to work, and that meant that we had to understand each other.

Pushing at his chest, I pulled my lips reluctantly from his. Looking into his hazy unfocused eyes I asked him.

''Why Bobby, why now?'' I closed my eyes, fear reasserting itself. I was afraid of what he would see in them. But this was too important. I couldn't hide from him anymore. It was time to tell him how I felt. I cared about him too deeply to keep up the charade.

Opening my eyes I looked up into his eyes to let him see the naked truth as I clarified the question.

''Before, when you said that you trusted me, that you thought I felt the same…I do, I feel the same 100 times over. But, I have not been as honest or forthcoming as I should. It was my humility, among other things that got in the way.'' I stopped talking, taking a deep breath as I circled the buttons on his shirt with my fingertips.

''Alex…''

''Wait Bobby, let me finish.'' Putting my finger to his lips, I almost regretted the action as waves of wicked heat licked at my fingers. Bobby grinned at me mischievously as if he knew the direction my thoughts were taking.

''I have not been having nightmares.''

Grunting his assent, he rolled his eyes, looking playfully malicious as he nibbled at the same finger I'd used to keep him quiet.

Like a vise, his hold tightened even as I wiggled around. ''Bobby stop it. This is serious and I can't concentrate. Just what the hell are you doing anyway?''

''You don't like it?'' he teased, knowing perfectly well how it was affecting me..

''I can't focus with you nipping at me like that. I thought you wanted to know?''

''I do,'' his head snapped up angling to the side watching me.. ''I just found something tastier to do…but…but you're right this is important''. Straightening up, suddenly he was the serious Bobby. I regretted leaving lighthearted Bobby behind, I saw him so rarely.

It made me sad to see him shed that skin so easily. It must be one of those things he learned over the years, "110 ways to flip character in 60 seconds."

Curling my fingers around his neck so I could brush at the tiny soft hairs around back, I brought his face to mine.. ''Sometimes I feel like I haven't slept at all …these dreams...at first they were just kind of funny. That was 2 weeks ago. But they became so intense. The man in the dreams, he told me to call him Robert, as if dreams should have a choice. Since it was just a dream, it seemed harmless enough because then I could separate the two. I think …when I dream he makes me feel so..so''

''Enough! I don't want details!'' Bobby yelled suddenly going red and flushed in the face. He pushed away from my hands. .

I was so shocked it took me a moment to finish. In a rush, I spilled out the final truth.

''Robert is you Bobby."

His eyes went wide and his mouth gasped out. ''What did you say?''

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